Etiquette to Success - Dining Etiquette

I am often asked what are the top three etiquette mistakes I see in the business arena. Without a doubt, it is the lost art of table manners. Let me be blunt here. How you act and eat leaves a lasting impression. Whether you are on a job interview during lunch, or trying to make a good impression, be exceptional. You are creative, talented and a hard worker.  Continue the process and improve your personal brand to raise your professional bar. Here are tips on how to be exceptional when dining out for business with colleagues, the CEO of your company, clients or friends. This way, you can focus on the business at hand and not worry about where your bread plate is located.

1. Dress the part.  If you are the host, you might want to offer your guests a hint when extending the invitation. If the restaurant is very casual and you work in a relaxed office, you may want to mention this.  Make the offer to be casually dressed over lunch. Be aware that casual does not mean weekend attire as in a t-shirt and jeans, or a polo shirt. If you are a man, you might opt for a button down and dress slacks; a woman, dress pants, turtleneck, and a scarf or casual jacket. If you are in the financial or legal professions, consider a business suite when dining, especially with clients. If you are the guest and you are not sure:  Ask.  This shows initiative and leadership.  A positive first impression and being appropriate is important to you.
2. Arrive early to the restaurant. You have a few things to take care of before your guests arrive. If you choose to be exceptional, arrive early to speak with the owner or the host to give them your credit card. This way the bill does not come to the table. What a nice touch. Arriving early also gives you the chance to check out the table and gather your thoughts about who is attending and the business to discuss. When your guests arrive, stand and shake hands with everyone attending.  Ask them to sit.
3.  When to talk business. Start with small talk, maybe about the weather, golf, the playoffs or the restaurant, depending on the interest of your guest.  Remember, you become more interesting when you are more interested in someone else.  Make sure everyone feels included.  Make eye contact. Don’t just begin with the business at hand. Let your guests order and get situated.
4. Be fully present with your guests.  By this I mean put away your phone. Not only is this good manners but be aware of cleanliness when you are dining.  Never put a handbag or phone on the dining table. They are ridden with germs. It may not bother you, but keep in mind that you have others with you.
5. Move through the meal with grace and confidence.  Napkin in your lap, bread plate is on your left, elbows off the table, hold your fork like a pencil if you are eating American Style, chew with your mouth closed. I know you learned that at four years old, but you would be amazed at how many adults forget it. Remember, this is a business meal and not an eating contest.  Slow down.
6. Put your guests at ease.  So many times I have been asked "what should I order and how much can I spend if I am not the one paying?”  As a host, put your guests at ease. As you are looking at the menu, you might add that you are ordering the soup of the day along with salmon. This way your guests have a sense of the courses you plan to have and how much you are spending on yourself. If you are a guest and your host is not giving you a clue, ask. You can be subtle. Tell your host it is your first time dining at this location and ask for a suggestion.

7.   Thank you from both.  As a host, thank your guests for their time. As a guest, you might send a quick email once you get back to the office but you must also send a handwritten thank you note for the meal. Remember, you are choosing to be exceptional and outstanding.

Common Dinning Mistakes

Placing personal items on the table - Never place anything on the table; purses, glasses, cell phones, briefcases, papers or accessories

Bring food or drink from another business - It is rude to brink drink or food with you from another establishment

Chewing ice - It is noisy and unprofessional

Touching your hair, face etc.- From the time your meet your guest, reframe from touching your hair, face, ears, nose and most important your mouth 

Wiping off silver wear - This sends a mixed signal to your guest that you feel the restaurant is dirty

Misusing the silverware - Gripping the fork and knife incorrectly is the most obvious and common faux pas. Knives are meant to cut, not saw. The fork and knife should never teeter half off the plate onto the table. Don't wave your silverware in the air while talking. Silverware placed at the top of the plate is for dessert. Place only the silverware that you have used on the plate when finished.  Place your silver wear down between bites.

Using the wrong butter plate - There's a simple rule to remember: liquids to the right, solids to the left. Your butter plate will be near your fork, not your knife. Bread & Drink

Buttering an entire roll - Bread and rolls are meant to be torn, not cut. A large roll would be torn in half first, then a smaller piece can be torn off, buttered and eaten. Toast is the exception. The entire piece can be buttered at once. 

Improper use of the napkin - The napkin comes off the table only after everyone is seated. It is used to dab the lips, not scrub the face. If leaving the table temporarily mid-meal, place the napkin on your chair. At the end of the meal, place it on the table next to your plate, never on the plate, however. 

Eating too fast or too slow - Pacing is important when dining with others. Slow down if you notice you're faster than everyone else. Speed up or leave some food if you're a slow eater. You should never leave your guest to dine alone, which happens if you're finished way ahead of your guest. 

Showing food in mouth - This happens when you’ve taken too big of a bite and then chew with your mouth open, or continue to talk. This is very unappetizing for others to observe. Small bites are necessary when trying to converse while eating. 

Seasoning food before tasting - Without tasting your food, how would you know it really needs seasoning? This can be seen as an insult to the chef and host. It also can indicate that you jump to conclusions. 

Washing food down with liquids - The mouth should be cleared of food before beverages are sipped. It's a good habit to get into, especially with wine. Wine is meant to cleanse the palate and its taste can't fully be appreciated with food still in the mouth. 

Passing food incorrectly - The salt is always passed with the pepper. Anything with a handle, such as the creamer, is passed so the handle is facing the person receiving the item. This is why the correct way to pass food the first time around is to the right=counterclockwise. 

Leaving lipstick marks - Lipstick should be well blotted so not to leave marks on cups and glasses. It's a real turnoff. 

Grooming at the table - This is another turnoff. Don't touch your hair or apply makeup while at the table. And certainly don't pick your teeth at the table. Excuse yourself from the table to remove something from your teeth...or to apply makeup. 

Poor posture - Sit up straight, don't lean on your elbows or forearms, don't rock in your chair, and keep your elbows close.

Gesturing With Your Utensils – Forks should be placed down between bites and never used to gesture.

Ellen

Ellen Reddick

Owner of Impact Factory, a Salt Lake City based company specializing in training, consulting, coaching, facilitation and process improvement, in business operations, professionalism, business etiquette, communications and soft skill development.

Certified mediator and facilitator.